Herman and Myrtle

Myrtle looked at the scraggly trees left with $30 price tags. “At least they’re cheap.”

Herman squinted. “The stands are $30. The tree is $115.”

“Wait,” a voice called out. “Everything’s 40% off. They’re a little brittle, but once you get past the Celebration, it’s perfect firewood.”

Herman glowed. “Sold!”